


Wrong Thing

by chenziee



Series: One Angel [7]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Social Phobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 07:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15214016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenziee/pseuds/chenziee
Summary: Eren doesn't know how to filter his words and it's up to Levi to pick up the pieces when he messes up.





	Wrong Thing

“I said the wrong thing again,” Eren muttered, making Levi blink and look up at his boyfriend in surprise.

He didn’t think the other boy would say anything for the rest of the day. Since Levi came back from work, Eren had been sitting in one place, feet up, arms around his knees, staring into his laptop, and barely moving. It’s been hours since Levi joined him in their bedroom, lying on the bed with a book, figuring keeping Eren silent company would be about as much as he could do for him. As much as Eren would accept.

So when Eren spoke up in a voice barely above whisper and sounding a bit hoarse from lack of use, Levi immediately got up, walking the few steps to stand next to Eren, leaning against the desk and giving his boyfriend his undivided attention.

Not that Eren even looked at him. Couldn’t look at him, probably. It felt like just getting those few words out cost him all the energy he had and Levi noticed his nails digging deep into his flesh. Distracting himself. Probably fighting the urge to do something worse and Levi’s heart ached.

Not daring to touch Eren, he spoke up slowly, carefully, as quietly as Eren did before, “What happened?”

Eren let out a strained laugh, a noise that hurt both Levi’s ears and his gut. “I don’t even really know. I was just joking around, trying to make conversation. And suddenly, people were pissed. Armin took me aside and apparently what I said was really rude. I don’t even know what I said. It didn’t even occur to me it might sound rude.”

“That just happens sometimes,” Levi tried, not seeing where the problem was but not daring to ask.

But Eren only closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, frustration and angrer in the small movement. “It doesn’t just happen _sometimes_ to me. I do it all the time. I always say the wrong thing, not realizing what I’m saying. Ever since I could talk, that’s all I can fucking do. Piss people off with every word I say, making everyone hate me.” His breathing was getting faster and shallower with each word until Levi put a calming hand on his cheek.

“Eren, look at me,” he said softly, rubbing gentle circles on the other’s skin with his thumb. Only when Eren’s eyes finally rose up to meet his did Levi continue, “You’re fine, Eren. Nobody hates you. And if they do, that’s on them, too. It always takes two people.”

An almost hysterical chuckle bubbled out of Eren’s chest and Levi flinched. It was an ugly sound, broken and full of pain. “Yes, it’s on them if they hate me after I say they’re stupid to their face.”

“Better to their face than behind their backs,” Levi noted as if it was obvious and Eren looked at him with a complicated expression on his face.

“Well, yes but...” he paused, gulping loudly, heavily. “There are ways to correct people without being an asshole about it. I know that. I just can’t help it, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind and only realize how it sounded when I see the reaction. But I _swear_ I don’t mean to be a self-righteous, hypocritical asshole. I just. Don’t think before I speak.”

“I know, Eren. I know. You’re just honest. Too honest sometimes, yes. But if you ask me, it’s better than being fake.”

Eren shook his head again at that before he nuzzled into Levi’s hand that still rested on his cheek. “It’s stupid though. I wish I could express myself better.”

“You can work on that,” Levi whispered, running his other hand through Eren’s hair.

“I have been trying for _years_ , Levi. I’ve known I’m like this since I was in fucking fifth grade but I never knew how to deal with it. So what was my response? Run away and not talk to anyone _at all_. So now I’m stuck at a reclusive twelve year old communication skill level.”

“That doesn’t mean it can’t change. You can practice.”

“And make everybody I come across hate me while I’m at it?” Eren spat out, obviously without thinking. Even to Levi it was obvious that was his first thought, an automated response. Eren was convinced he was a hopeless case, convinced there was no way for him to be able to communicate ‘as a normal person’ and Levi didn’t know what to do. How to tell him not he wasn’t as broken as he thought.

They were both silent for a few long moments until Eren spoke up again, “Fuck, I really shouldn’t speak ever again. I should just stay here and pretend I don’t exist.”

“And stay miserable?” Levi asked, trying to be patient but slowly reaching his limits. Taking a deep breath and burying his fingers in Eren’s hair to keep himself from snapping at his boyfriend, he continued in a much calmer voice, “Eren, you know you can’t hide forever. It will only get worse. Try small steps. We can go out together if you want. You know I can talk about three times the amount of shit to people as you could ever hope to do. Nobody will take what _you_ say to heart.”

He saw Eren curl up into his ball a little tighter momentarily, making himself seem even smaller than before. It was only a few seconds later that he nodded almost unnoticeably. “Okay,” he mumbled into his knees, making Levi smile a little. “But not today.”

“Of course. Love you, brat,” Levi assured softly, leaning over to give Eren a small kiss on his temple before he grabbed his hand, puling the other up.

Eren returned the sentiment in a quiet, barely audible mumble minutes later, cuddled up to Levi’s solid presence, his face hidden deep in Levi’s neck. “I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my entire middle school class (and probably elementary as well), half my high school class, the few people I have actually spoken to during the years of my karate experience, and every single other person I have ever spoken to. I'm sorry.


End file.
